“Depression is an ugly beast. He won’t leave me alone. He’s constantly reminding me this world is not my home.”
This is a short line I made up in order to stay focused in the hard seasons. Maybe it doesn't make sense just yet. Hopefully I can change that.
I have been no stranger to seasons of depression. They come like waves; large, heavy, unbearable waves. You won’t be surprised when I tell you I dread those waves. What might surprise you is that I have learned to welcome them as well.
You heard that right. Depression is both a curse and a gift. In fact, it is a gift because it is a curse. Don't worry. I'll do my best to explain what I mean.
First we need to lay a brief, necessary foundation.
A brief foundation
As a Christian, I know I am a stranger in this present world. I am a sojourning pilgrim following the narrow way to eternal life in heaven. This narrow way, traveled by faith and trust in Jesus, is the only way. All other roads lead to death.
So how does one stay on the path? By keeping our eyes on Jesus, staying focused on the coming joy of heaven, and never looking back. Hebrews 12:1b-2 says,
“Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured a cross and despised the shame and has sat down at the right hand of God’s throne.”
The reason Jesus "endured a cross and despised the shame" was "for the joy that lay before Him." This is the way we stay true in faithfulness. We keep the joy of heaven through Christ ever before us. If there is only one path to eternal life in Christ and the way to stay on it is to stay focused on heaven through faith in Him, then I am left with this conclusion.
Anything that keeps my eyes pointed heavenward is a blessing.
Having laid a general foundation to build from, we can now get back specifically to the issue of depression.
Depression as a curse
Depression is a curse, a bitter enemy. I am not going to wax poetic here, but I will say this.
Depression is like a dark cloud that appears, uninvited and unwelcome, raining on every area of your life.
Sometimes it has an explanation, but not always. It infects everything. The malady of depression can make it seem as though there is nothing in this life to be enjoyed. The goal of depression, atleast in my experience, is to rob you of any joy you could have in this world.
That's the curse of depression. That is how the bitter enemy operates.
However, we know God causes everything to work for the good of His people (Romans 8:28). "Everything" includes the bitter enemy of depression. This is where that general foundation we laid comes in.
Depression as a blessing
If we truly understand the eternal significance of keeping our eyes pointed heavenward we will see how the curse of depression is made to be a blessing. The bitter enemy becomes a sweet friend, a signpost along the path.
What is the goal of depression again? It is to rob us of any joy we could have in this world. That leaves us with one option. We have to find our joy somewhere else. Do you see what happens here?
The curse of depression turns our eyes from this world. We lose hope in what this world has to offer. It redirects our gaze to heaven and causes us to transfer our hope there.
At first, depression seems like a bitter enemy. But, handled rightly, depression can be a sweet friend. It keeps us focused. It keeps us on the path.
Hopefully now my little phrase makes more sense.
Depression is an ugly beast. He won’t leave me alone. He’s constantly reminding me this world is not my home.